The Best Places To Break Up In DC

We’re not telling you to break up (unless 👀), but pre-Valentine's Day is the most common time to do it. Sure, experts recommend ending things with someone in a safe, private location. But honestly? That’s lame. Grow up and sob in public like the rest of us.

Dupont Circle:

With Krispy Kreme, Un je ne sais Quoi, and Tatte all just a block away, you can gorge on treats to fill the gaping hole in your chest and forget about the fact that you might never find love again.

The WWII Memorial:

It doesn’t get more majestic than this. And if you’re left sobbing on the cold hard ground? Well, you’ll just come off as especially patriotic.

Crumbs & Whiskers Georgetown:

Get a headstart on finding your breakup cat (yes, it’s a thing, mine’s named Luna) at this cat café. Plus, for an extra $5, the café is offering a “shit on your ex” service where they write their name on a litter box and let the felines do the deed.

On the Metro Platform:

For the romantics. Break up with someone on the Metro platform, then watch them through the closing doors while blasting “Goodbye To You” by Michelle Branch and shedding a single tear. Just please don’t break up on the bus. Let's keep it classy.

Adams Memorial:

Colloquially named “Grief,” this statue in Rock Creek Cemetery is surrounded by shrubs so you can ugly cry/beg your significant other to reconsider without fear of (more) embarrassment.

Kalorama Park:

This park is just steps away from Adams Morgan Urgent Care. So if your ex starts bleeding from the heart (likely, I mean, have you seen yourself?), you can drop them off asap.

Now, that you’re single, here’s a psychologist’s guide to making friends in D.C.