DC Dating Off the Apps: The Need for Speed (Dating)

Anyone who’s ever dated in D.C. can attest that it’s not for the weak. Double-phone clutching staffers, love-bombing interns, and morally ambiguous Deloitte employees make for a truly harrowing dating pool (and those are just my exes!). As someone who’s been burned one too many times by the Hinge algorithm (please, god, no more avoidants) I decided that it was time to try something new.

Enter this series, “DC Dating Off the Apps.” I’m deleting the apps and sacrificing myself as a social experiment to try D.C.’s in-person dating options so that you don’t have to. I know, heroic. Will I find love, or just a renewed bitter dissolution with romance? First up: speed dating!

The Set Up

Armed with a healthy dose of skepticism and my (very serious) journalistic hat, I braved D.C.’s snowcrete to attend a speed dating event set up by Shuffle Dating at a cafe in Ballston. Over the course of two hours, I was matched with nine different dates, each of which was eight minutes. I then got a two minute break to find my next date and a longer coffee break in the middle. Here’s how it went.

What Worked

This event was a well oiled machine. It started on time, directions were clear, and they even had a website to identify my dates and indicate who I was interested in. They also did a great job of curating a safe, low-pressure environment that was as non-awkward as I could hope for.

I was charmed by how easy everyone was to talk to (who hasn’t experienced the horror of a silent first date?). While there was lots of stereotypical “first date talk,” there were also conversations that left me curious. I learned about a great hiking spot in Maryland that I’m considering buying crampons for, and a jazz bar in my neighborhood I’d never even heard of. So already, I felt my time was well spent.

What Didn’t Work

Look, I’m not trying to judge (except that I am, in fact, judging), but 90% of the men were in a button up and J-Crew quarter zip. DMV lads, can we step it up a little? Trying to discern between two shades of heather gray was not what I signed up for. But in all seriousness, the cafe set up ended up feeling a little bit job interview-adjacent. While I appreciated how serious people were about finding a match … where is the fun?! The whimsy?! The flirtatious, dare I say chaotic, energy?!

My other bone to pick is that we were required to track the time on our phones. So, each date became an awkward game of trying to subtly check the timer without being rude. God forbid I checked too early. Eek!

‼️ The Results

Would I do this again? Yes! Despite not finding anyone I was interested in, and, of course, all those damn quarter zips, I had a great two hours meeting people and left with a renewed excitement for dating (cringe, I know!). As an introvert who often leaves first dates feeling drained, I was surprised by how much social energy I still had left in the tank after chatting with nine people — it felt refreshing and efficient.

Next time, I would attend a speed dating event in D.C. proper (sorry, folks across the river, I know you’re disappointed!) and I would attend one that took place at a bar to help curate those ~ romantic ~ vibes.

The Final Scores:

• Ease/Organization: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
• Fun ⭐⭐⭐⭐
• Romantic potential ⭐ ⭐
• Cost ($28) ⭐⭐⭐