TMZ Discovers D.C. Dining

First Up

This weekend, the mockery of TMZ’s new Washington bureau evolved from a strictly federal-Washington obsession into a hometown-D.C. story. It’s all because one of the gossip juggernaut’s new reporters, Jacob Wasserman, started posting about local restaurants. After first drawing scorn for seeming unaware of well-known Beltway things like Congressional holidays, TMZ now stands accused of being unforgivably in the dark about ubiquitous D.C. eateries.

“DC people — if you’re looking to start off your day the right way, I highly recommend Tatte Bakery & Cafe,” Wasserman posted about the Boston-based chain. In another post, he waxed similarly enthusiastic about the bacon, egg and cheese bagel at the local Call Your Mother chain. The reaction on social media went just as you’d imagine: What’s next? Is this rube going to discover Le Diplomate?

And just like that, Wasserman was introduced to a particularly D.C. phenomenon: Pulling rank about our Washington-ness. In a city that draws so many transients, it’s the way we establish authority. Palookaville newcomers look for restaurants in Dupont; I do my eating in Petworth. Don’t know which ward Kingman Park is in? Then pipe down about the mayor’s race, ya hayseed!

As a D.C. Native™, I’m not averse to a little rank-pulling myself. But the problem is, there’s always someone who can outrank you. We’re a city in deep financial straits that needs all the newbies it can get. Which means it’s probably better karma to just welcome the new guy and his possibly pedestrian tastes. And since it’s a reporter we’re talking about, it may also be better journalism: A lot of great scoops begin with interrogating phenomena that “everyone” supposedly knows about already.

Last week, my colleague Bridget pronounced herself excited about what TMZ’s scoopsters might reveal about our city. But Wasserman’s haters have already revealed something about us, too. Let the guy drink his chain coffee in peace!

News You Oughta Be Talking About

Curfew Curtain-raiser. The D.C. Council is set to vote today on whether to revive youth curfews. According to the 51st’s Martin Austermuhle, there may be enough support to pass it as regular legislation (which wouldn’t become law immediately due to review-period rules) but not as immediate-effect "emergency" legislation (which requires a supermajority).

Pay attention: The curfew lapse has drawn furious criticism, including from U.S. Attorney Jeanine Pirro. After video circulated of an MPD officer dragging young girls off a bike in a curfew zone, DC’s police union reposted a GOP activist’s statement that the officer didn’t actually go too far. The issue’s high profile means it’s the sort of thing that could prompt D.C.’s next federal interference crisis.

Debate Night. D.C.'s mayoral candidates, major and minor, staged a relatively tame debate last night. My new colleague Michael Brice-Saddler was there. Highlights: Kenyan McDuffie said again that he supports extending the curfew. Janeese Lewis George defended her vote against it, recounting how she saw "individuals with guns" question young people. And real estate developer Gary Goodweather said the best view in D.C. was of his wife. Michael Slacked me that the two leading candidates actually did sneak in some telling lines of attack. We'll have new reporting on what those are, and how each side sees the path to victory, when Michael's first City Cast piece publishes later this week.

Live Nation Settlement. Live Nation will pay D.C. $10 million to settle city Attorney General Brian Schwalb’s lawsuit over allegedly unfair business practices. Locals who bought tickets through Ticketmaster, which Live Nation owns, could soon see refunds. Notably, Schwalb — whose office has been targeted for elimination by Congressional Republicans — won his settlement after the federal government largely caved in its own efforts against the widely-hated ticket giant.

$250 Million G-Man. FBI chief Kash Patel sued The Atlantic for $250 million over a scathing profile that said he regularly gets drunk at Ned’s Club and has gone MIA on the job, among other alleged misdeeds. Though the news organization is based at The Wharf, and Patel’s day job is in Penn Quarter, the lawsuit notes that he’s a resident of Nevada. Why does that matter? Because it helps land the suit in federal court and not D.C. Superior Court, where a local law protects journalists against legal bullying. But federal court doesn’t protect against the Streisand Effect, wherein media attention to a lawsuit ultimately causes the supposedly false allegations to get repeated. Again, the lawsuit claims Patel was defamed by an article that said he regularly gets drunk at Ned’s Club and has gone MIA on the job.

Finance Bros. Commanders owner Josh Harris (who recently paid $28 million for a Georgetown mansion) and Trump’s Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick (who paid a mere $25 million for his own Foxhall mansion) were spotted courtside at a playoff game of the Philadelphia 76ers, which Harris also owns. No word about whether they discussed the $1 billion-plus subsidy that District taxpayers are paying for Harris’ new D.C. stadium.

Finally: Can we just dethrone the pandas already? A video of National Zoo elephant calf Linh Mai taking a bubble bath has gone viral. The baby elephant will be available for visitors tomorrow.

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Department of Details

“The restaurant offers chef-designed salads, wraps, warm bowls, market plates, soups and smoothies, including homemade dressings and freshly prepped produce.”

- From a Washington Business Journal story about a local chain’s recent expansion. The chain’s name? JUST SALAD.

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